Ndume, zanga-zanga, and sundry, By Hassan Gimba

Nigeria, our beloved country, is full of promises and the potential to be a great country. Why we still have not got it right is not only surprising and frustrating to us Nigerians, it is a big letdown to the international community.

Because of all the hiccups associated with our bumbling growth, every day comes up with issues that not only bewilder but befuddle concerned citizens. It is like every day comes with a closed box, and from it, every hour, a matter of profound national effect rears its head.

Some of them are heart-warming, like hearing about some Nigerians making us proud in other lands, the completion of an important project, or this government apprehending some who dipped their hands into our national “patrimony”. This patrimony thing, what does one say about mind-boggling disclosures like the Emefieleloot, Sirikaheist, the el-Rufa’igate or the Sadiyafeed?

Therefore, Nigeria presents the writer of events with choices. But there are so many that he may easily get lost for which to write on because, by the next round of commentary, usually a week, he will be faced with fresh, of equal or more import, events rendering those left untouched stale.

And Nigerians exaggerate a lot. Take the case of the current din over “hunger”. Agreed, life is difficult now with almost everything going out of the reach of not only the common man but almost every man. However, trust Nigerians, adept at making mountains out of molehills. Social media is filled with skits depicting hunger and the hungry in a way mocking the genuine hungry by chubby cheeked skit makers.

We are also people who love overdramatisation, which can be seen in the skits. Or in those waylaying trailers of food and carting away foodstuffs in the name of “hunger”. I saw some able-bodied youths carrying bags of rice, some two, on their heads and shoulders, but they were hungry. Never saw a hungry man with such strength.

And trust us to laugh at ourselves. We seem to have a tremendous capacity for that. Everything that some “saner” citizens of other countries would cry over, Nigerians laugh over. I recently saw a video skit of some youths making jest of a beating one Bilki Commanda received over his alleged insults of Governor Uba Sani of Kaduna State. But maybe it is what keeps our sanity in place considering the turbulence our economy has thrown us into.

Talking about punishing people who speak their minds makes one want to review the level of practice of our democracy. I am thinking of an opinion expressed by Ali Ndume, erstwhile Chief Whip of the Senate that cost him his office and now threatens his seat.

Ndume’s crime is that he said that there is suffering in the land. Perhaps those who felt affronted by his candour thought he should have offered his two-pence thought through the backdoor since he has accessibility, even though he also complained that seeing the president is another back-breaking exercise in futility.

Well, let us all hope and pray that Ndume’s concerns will be taken care of by the increase in salaries. This is as against the fear of some people that salary increase, as against strengthening the naira, is not the answer to the economic quagmire we find ourselves in.

Even though in 2011, the basic minimum wage of ₦18,000 was $117, the current ₦70,000 is barely $45. Therefore, the only elixir to our economic freedom and well-being is a strong naira as a result of a productive economy. Nigeria must start being productive, and we must produce what we eat and use and also eat and use what we make.

Otherwise, there will always be disgruntlement in the land. That will be giving opportunists with unscrupulous hidden agendas the windows to recruit society’s undesirable elements to wreak havoc on the land and multiply the hardships already burdening innocent people.

And as we are becoming more of a people adept at “copy and paste”, there are some who think they can “cut and paste” what transpired in Kenya here. Interestingly, all those I see on social media shouting “protests” (zanga-zanga in Hausa) do not look like those who one will find at the vanguard of protesters. They do not look like those ready to carry placards about shouting “We no go gree, we no go gree.”

My best bet is that if they are in Nigeria on the day, then you will find them cosily chilling off in a five-star hotel somewhere in town. But the most likely thing that will happen is that there may be no protest or, at best, it would be a wimpy one. The so-called organisers are just giving notice so that they would be settled, learning one or two tricks from our current labour leaders. In any case, I will only believe in their seriousness when any of the organisers emulate Mohamed Bouazizi, the youth who incited the Arab Spring through self-immolation.

But my advice to all Muslims who voted based on a Muslim-Muslim ticket as a sort of a jihad is this: Protests against the government are not yours likewise crying over whatever is perceived as “difficulty” because doing so will make you lose your reward.

But as I earlier pointed out, there are many things done by this government that deserve our applause. Take the issue of local government autonomy recently signed into law. That alone may release more funds for the development and welfare of the grassroots. Many states that have refused to conduct local government elections will now have no options than to do so.

The only question is, would the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) be conducting the elections, and would there be any difference from the ones being conducted by state electoral commissions?

Many people will say, considering what happened in 1999. However, what they fail to see is that local government elections were conducted first under more or less neutral military governors. Now, some people believe even INEC has a price that incumbents can afford.